Happy Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving to all. This is a time for reflection and giving thanks. I'm not going to get sentimental or into deep pondering (to borrow a phrase from a good friend), but I do want to say thanks to all my friends near and far. A life without friends would be lonely indeed. As this year draws to a close, know that while I usually don't say it, I value each and every one of you. Thank you for being a part of my life.

21 days

Passport - check
Luggage - check
Excitement - check
21 days and counting until I am cruising. I and about 16 co-workers and friends are headed to warm seas and I can't wait. No phones, no computers, no working. And I absolutely refuse to talk about work while we are gone. This is a vacation. :)

Normal?

I have never given much thought whether my family would be considered "normal". But, apparently activities that I enjoy with my sons are not run of the mill activities for most families. I have been sky diving twice and would have gone the third time, but the planes were grounded due to heavy clouds. The first time I sky dived was also the first time for both my boys. The instructor was quite surprised that mom and boys were jumping. My youngest loved it and now skydives when he can. My second time to skydive was when he graduated from West Point. He jumped right before I made the tandem jump and we have a cool DVD of the jump. I visited him a couple of weeks ago in North Carolina and we went to the wind tunnel. He has a membership and goes almost daily. He also skydives almost daily. I got to go in the tunnel and loved it. It's probably a good thing that there are no wind tunnels near here. I don't know if I could afford it. Both of my sons like to go to paintball with me. And they are brutal. A friend of my youngest told me that I was lucky to be his mom because he wouldn't try to kill me. Ha! I'm the first one he shoots. And honestly, if he wasn't such a quick kid, I would have taken him out! I'm not sure what "normal" moms do with their kids, but I wouldn't change the things I do with mine. I may be "vieja" (the little brat's word for me), but I have fun. And so do they.

Flying

I fly a lot. But, apparently I have never flown when I have had sinus problems. I have never felt the pain flying that I felt this morning as the plane was descending into Dallas Love Field. My left eye felt like it was ready to pop out. And my left sinus cavity definitely was and still is to an extent bleeding. Take off and the flight itself didn't bother me at all. It was the descent. Knowing this, I was somewhat prepared that I might have pain as my next leg of the flight started descending into Kansas City. I was prepared, but once again, the pain was pretty bad. I discovered that if I press my temple and rub, the pain is lessened greatly. That is good to know as I am in the Kansas City Airport waiting for the next leg to Chicago and from Chicago to Raleigh/Durham. Two down and two more to go. At least I know it's going to hurt and that I can alleviate the pain somewhat. It's worth it though. I have a week to enjoy the ambience of North Carolina and my son (even though he will do his best to annoy me. That's why we have such a good relationship.)
Bonus for having my longest layover in KC...free Internet. Not all airports offer that. :)

Trust

I got a call asking if I wanted to go on a cruise. I should have said no. Why? Because I know the friend that asked and I know that he tends to act without thinking. Here we are, six days away from departure and he finally contacts the cruise line to finish up the plans. There are supposed to be five of us on this cruise. There are no reservations. Apparently my friend got scammed. Now, I have a week off work and no cruise. Luckily, I had only paid $100 so far and my friend is promising to get that back to me tomorrow. He hopes to be able to get his money back. He was afraid that I wouldn't talk to him anymore. I told him that I won't stop talking to him just because he's an idiot. He can't help it. I am upset that a trip that I was really looking forward to isn't going to happen. I'm also kicking myself because I know that I should not have left the details in my friend's hands even though he called me about going. Luckily, there are about 20 coworkers that I am going to go on a cruise in November with. I still plan on taking off most if not all of next week. I don't know what I plan on doing, but hey, I have a round trip ticket on Southwest that I can use if I want. Hmmmmm, whatever I do, I am not letting someone else do the planning.

I feel so bad

I have been ignoring my blog. I have things I want to write about, but life just seems to get in the way. I am going to try to do better, but not today. Today I went to the doctor with a 101.5 temp and sinus infection. I'm just trying to make my throat and ears quit hurting today.

My friend

I want to blog a series about my trip to Cancun. But not tonight. Tonight I want to say good bye to a dear, dear friend. Nancy has been a close friend, family for all intents and purposes, for the last 29 years.
Nancy, we shared laughs and tears. We've gone dancing, had Thanksgiving and Christmas together, played cards and drank endless cups of coffee at the table together. We didn't get to go on the cruise we were planning last year, but you are now on your final journey. Take care, my friend. You have loved ones here that will miss you dearly. But, I know that you are now pain free and joining those who went before you. Give George and Henry big hugs for me. I miss and love you.

Cancun

OK, so I'm excited. I leave tomorrow morning for Cancun. This is the first real vacation I've had in years. I am going with my best friend and her husband and daughter. Sounds kind of weird, but we travel together all the time. We've been to Monterrey, Austin, Corpus Christi, San Antonio, Orlando...just something we do. No phone, no computer...just beach, Mayan ruins, parasailing, snorkeling, massages, shopping...fun. I will take lots of pictures and plan to have an absolute wonderful time. See ya'll next week.

Have to stay connected

So, I leave home with a co-worker at 7:30 yesterday morning, drive to Amarillo and pick up four children. We board a plane at 11:50 and finally make it to El Paso almost 5 hours later. Not a bad trip...only a little bit of sprite was spilled on my digital camera, but it was okay. After letting the boys play games on my laptop, my battery had run down. No biggie...I can plug it in once I get to my brother and sister in law's house.
Well, my laptop doesn't work. Now we have a problem. I take it to Best Buy and find out that the warranty expired May 13th. Well, isn't that always what happens. They can send it in, but it'll take two weeks to get it back. Helloooo...I don't live in El Paso. I'm leaving Sunday. But...all is not lost. Apparently the problem is that I live in a dusty area. Lubbock and El Paso aren't that different. After blowing dust out of the fan area and around the sides, my laptop works. Let's just hope it continues to work. Two weeks without my laptop is almost impossible to imagine!

Flying

I love flying with kids. Especially when it's their first flight. Sometimes they are excited, sometimes they are scared, but I guarantee that there is never a dull moment. I flew with three young men from Lubbock to Dallas to El Paso Friday and will be making the return trip tomorrow. These guys range in age from 8 to a month shy of 15 and had never flown before. When we landed in Dallas the oldest had a headache. Lunch took care of that. The flight from Dallas to El Paso wasn't quite so easy. A storm had moved through the El Paso area earlier and apparently the skies had not quite settled down. There was some up and down movements as the plane hit air pockets. The 8 year old was sitting with me. His stomach started hurting and I just put my arm around him and held him close until we landed. Unbeknownst to us, while this was going on, the 10 year old, sitting with his older brother right behind us, was in the process of...well, to us his words, "I barfed." Now, I know how useful those little white bags in the seat pocket are. But, they recovered well and I left them at their pre-placement visit running and playing. I hope tomorrow's flights are smooth.

Birthday surprise

Man, it's hard to believe that I've hit the big 5-0. I don't feel like it. After having a pretty good day, my son asked me if I would watch the girls because his wife wanted him to go to her NA meeting with her. I had already gotten them to bed when I received a text message saying to not put them to bed because my son was going to call me and have me bring the girls to meet them for a birthday surprise. He said it would be worth keeping them up. So...I got to wake them up. But, it was worth it. We met at Daybreak coffee and my son and DIL walk up with a young man that I didn't recognize. The young man was my nephew!!! I haven't seen him in at least 8 - 10 years. My nephew had gotten caught up in some things he shouldn't have and spent some time in prison. He was at the NA meeting and my son just happened to see him walk by. I saw my niece a couple of days before (she and her husband and baby stopped by on the way from their home in Tennesee to Phoenix.) She told me then that she didn't know where my nephew was or if he was even alive. My nephew has been in Lubbock for 5 years. He's at a half way house and is working. He saw me on TV for one of our adoption clips and said he thought it was cool. After I gently got on to him for not getting in touch with me, we had a great visit. He's in town and I plan on seeing quite a bit of him. He needs family support. He's had a hard few years, but he's a better guy than he was. This was the best birthday surprise I could have gotten.

El Paso

I had such a fun time in El Paso. Getting to see my son was great. I spent one night playing Wii with my niece. She pretty much whipped me at Wii sports, but I'm getting better. Maybe I need to buy one and practice. The highlight of my trip though, was that Dharma flew down to El Paso on Sunday with her daddy and she got to spend Sunday night and Monday morning with her uncle and me. My son is totally captivated by his little niece. She can do no wrong as far as he is concerned. We took her to the El Paso Zoo. It is so enlightening to see the animals with a little one. Of course I took a ton of pictures. Now I just need to get them downloaded.

Old friends

It's nice to see a friend you haven't seen in a while. I got to see an old friend today and we had a great conversation. I like that even though we hadn't talked in a long time, we picked up and visited just like we had seen each other last week. She'll be in town through Monday and we might go to lunch Monday. Our visit was a highlight on an otherwise pretty blah week.

Don't judge too quickly

I was mad. I sent in paperwork that to continue the level of care for one of my special kids. I do this every three months and it is important so that he continues to receive the services he needs. The envelope was sealed and taped shut. Imagine my surprise when I receive an e-mail that says a determination is unable to be made due to incomplete information. According to this e-mail, they had only received the request page. Of course I e-mailed back that I had mailed the entire packet, but would resend the packet. I couldn't believe that the whole packet was lost except for the request page. This time, I scanned the packet and e-mailed it to the lady who had e-mailed me. The next day I had an e-mail from her that she couldn't accept the e-mail I sent...I had to send it to the help e-mail address. I also received two e-mails from the help addy with the same information that she had e-mailed me the day before. So, being the good worker I am, I forwarded the e-mailed packet to the help addy. I then received an e-mail that they couldn't open my e-mail because it was too large. Anything over 35 pages has to be mailed in. I, in a fit of pique, e-mailed back that I would mail the packet again, but that I was very concerned that an entire packet could be lost. I printed off the scanned papers so that I wouldn't have to copy the originals again and discovered that the packet was actually 74 pages long. Who would have guessed that we had 74 pages of documentation? I ranted and raved to my supervisor that because of someone's incompetence in Arlington (where the packet is sent), my child doesn't have his service level and they don't even care! Imagine my chagrin when my phone rang this afternoon and the foster mother for this child told me she had just received most of the packet in the mail from the Fort Worth post office stating that the papers had been found loose in the Fort Worth mailroom. Apparently, the machinery used in the post office must have torn open the mail. Odd that the request page made it to its destination, but nothing else did. I had been angry with the leveling agency when all along the mail had not been received by them. The upshot is that I didn't rant to them and was fairly civil in my e-mails to them. The packet has been resent and the child should have his level in a couple of days. Next time something like this happens, I'll not be so quick to judge...or will I???

Windblown

It's March and it's West Texas. Must be track season. I went to the district track meet of a girl on my case load today. They told me that it started at 3:00. My youngest was a track star in Jr. High and High School. Odd that I totally forgot that 3:00 does not mean 3:00 in track time. I arrived at 3:45 and the running events still had not started. No surprise there. Also no surprise that the wind was blowing about 30 mph and it was getting cold. Of course I didn't bring a jacket with me. But, one of the wonderful things about small town track parents is that a total stranger handed me a jacket and told me to wear it. I don't think there are any nicer people anywhere. The smell of the hamburgers being grilled for the concession stand was awesome. The cheering of the parents was wonderful. The great thing about track is that parents actually praise not only their own children for doing well, but other children, also...even those on opposing teams. And there are always cheers for that last struggling runner. My girl took a first in the 400 m relay and a 4th in the 100 m dash. Not bad for a 7th grader at her first district meet. The future looks bright...even if it is windy.

Saturday

I have been so tired all week. But I finally got to sleep late Saturday and ended up having a fun day. After I finally dragged myself out of bed, I went to lunch at Beef O'Brady's with the family and a friend. After lunch, (Dharma and I shared a sliders basket) we strolled down to Cato's and I bought two shirts and a dress. Then we moseyed over to Everything's a Dollar and I spent a little bit more. Ahh well. It was time to get Dharma home for her nap. While she was napping, Lauren talked me into playing dress up. Wow, that's something I didn't expect to be doing as an adult. We pulled out dresses that I haven't worn in a very long time, including a couple of formals. Thanks to the weight loss I have had, the dresses fit me! Woo woo as my good friend, sista, says. Lauren loved my formals and my "little black dress" that all women have to have. She tried on several and we had a blast. Saturdays can be so much fun.

Girls just wanna have fun

I came home today in a grumpy mood. I went to Amarillo and while that is not a bad trip...I enjoy visiting my kids there, it is a long drive and today it made me grumpy. My son and DIL wanted to go to a concert so I am now here with Lauren and Dharma. My mood has improved drastically. How could it not with these girls? We have played on my bed and taken silly pictures from the lap top. We even filmed a short video. If I can ever get it downloaded into photobucket, I will share it with friends. We all need to take time out of our busy schedules and have a girls just wanna have fun night. It is good for the soul and I think it helps keep me young. Too bad their parents don't know what they are missing.

Late night munchies

I cleaned house today. Which means I didn't really eat. So, tonight I got the munchies. My daughter in law hadn't eaten supper, so I took off to Taco Villa. They have flavoring for their sodas!!! I can get my vanilla diet dr. pepper somewhere besides Sonic! Anyway, for my dear friends in Canada and New Mexico, I just wanted to let you know that I had a guadalajara tonight. But don't get mad at me. For some reason, they salted it. So, it wasn't the best I've ever had. Probably punishment for getting off my diet. Which, by the way, has been going really well. I've lost 25 pounds. Woo hoo!!!

It's nice

It's nice to do something for yourself and to feel good about yourself. My friends know what I am talking about. To have friends notice is nice. Now, to make the most of feeling good...
Oh, Sista...secrets are good. You know what I mean.

Another week

Well, it's another week and I am so bored. I don't really know why. I actually went out Sunday and it was nice. Just a few drinks and talk and well anyway, it was cool. And Saturday, I had lunch with friends and had a really good time. So, why am I bored now? It's not like I don't have enough work to keep me busy. Maybe it's the winter time blues. Time to make changes in my life. Maybe. Well, maybe I should start getting ready for my Cancun trip. That is something to look forward too.

Big girls do cry

Everyone knows the nursery rhyme, Humpty Dumpty.
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall.
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the king's horses and all the king's men
Couldn't put Humpty together again.

Children are like Humpty Dumpty. Sometimes they fall and sometimes they can't be put back together again. How do you protect them from the great fall? How do you tell a seven year old child who has been in foster homes and who has been with her siblings in a relative home for four years that her caregiver doesn't want her there anymore? How do you protect her from that great fall? The one where she has been told that she is bad? Is it her fault that she has behaviors that can be a challenge to work with? Has everything been done to mend the cracks that she has from her previous falls? I don't believe that a seven year old child is a throw away and I don't believe that she should be punished for mistakes that adults have made. Parents that didn't or couldn't keep her. Workers and caregivers that didn't get her the counseling that could help her through the rejections she has had. It's not too late. But, when I go to her home and tell her that she is moving. That she will no longer live with her siblings. That she is going to a foster home, or an emergency shelter and will be living once again with strangers. How will I answer her questions about why her caregiver wants her brothers and her sister, but doesn't want her? How will I be able to protect her from the great fall so that I can start the process of putting her back together again?

It's okay for big girls to cry. I have already cried when I was talking to the caregiver, trying to convince her that we don't give up on the little ones. Will she cry? Will I cry with her? Maybe. Because it's okay to cry. But then, I will start putting her back together again. And I pray that she will only be cracked and not broken into little pieces that can't be put back together.

Dharma rulz

A poster on a forum I frequent posted a thread about who's running your life. His thread focuse on his dog. Well, I love my dogs dearly, but they are not running this house. Dharma is. While I sometimes get frustrated having my son and his family living here (I enjoy my privacy), I love getting to be a part of Dharma's life. She absolutely runs this house. She loves to come get in my bed when it is her bedtime. And then she gets offended that she has to go to her bed. She took off her diaper yesterday morning, came in my room and pee'd on my floor. Thank goodness it is a wood floor. If anyone else did that, I would probably beat them as I chased them out of my house. With Dharma, it is cute. I keep a bag of candy on my dresser that is Dharma candy. No one else touches them. Dharma gets one a day. She's starting to talk and will tell us what she wants to eat or drink. She also tries to be so helpful. She will start wiping the table in front of her when she is finished eating. I was throwing trash away today and she helped put it in the trash can and wanted to go to the dumpster with me. She's fun and adorable. I'm hoping she takes her time growing up.

A girl's best friend

No, it's not diamonds. Not for the traveling girl, anyway. My best friend when I am traveling for work is mapquest. Of course, if someone wanted to give me a portable GPS, I wouldn't say no. It is so nice when mapquest takes you right where you want to go. I have been misled by mapquest before, so this is a serious matter. Today, I took a child to Alvin. I mapquested from Hobby airport in Houston to the placement and mapquest worked like a charm. Usually when I am flying, I run short on time. I rush to the airport praying that I make my flight. I have had some very close calls. Today, I had all the time in the world. I stopped in Pearland on the way back to the airport and had a great BBQ lunch. Once I arrived at the airport, I had plenty of time to browse and buy Dharma and Lauren overpriced gifts from one of the gift shops. They were happy. It is really nice to be able to relax and not worry about getting lost or missing my flight.

Office move

Ok, it's official. We will move to our 'temporary office' next week. I went to the office this afternoon to start packing. Start is the correct word. I will spend several hours tomorrow and probably stay late Monday and Tuesday to have it done by Wednesday. Man, I have the smallest office of anyone on my unit. How did I get so much stuff? Of course, most of it is case files. I have 11 boxes of case files so far. I estimate that I need about 16 more. That doesn't include the files that are in the bookshelf in our hallway. I have case files out there that I don't use now, but have to pack and take to the new building because they go with my current files. They are in the hall because they wouldn't fit in my office. I did get my personal stuff off the walls and packed up. Between my co-workers and myself, we have boxes stacked down the hallway and sore muscles and backs. I'm trying to make sure that I pack files that I don't generally need separate from the ones I have to access on a regular basis. I don't want to unpack any that I don't have to if we are moving again in six months or so. Also, I decided to file paperwork that has been stacking up while I am packing the files. Might as well get it done all at once. I think we should have a party once we get moved. We deserve it.

Procrastination not always bad

Procrastination has a bad rap. But, I found out today that it is not always bad to procrastinate. My unit, along with three other units, is being moved to emergency housing due to the influx of new workers. It has become extremely difficult to find a place to park if you aren't at work at 8:00 AM. My co-worker today commented that only the new workers get here early. They are still in training and aren't working until 7:00, 8:00 or 9:00 at night. So, we have been told to box up our offices and to take all our personal items home. We have to be ready for the movers next week. Everything has to be labeled and ready to go. Some workers have been diligently preparing their offices. An e-mail that went out even commented on how well one worker in my unit has done on boxing up her case files. I read between the lines and decided that the three of us who haven't even taken a picture off the wall yet were being subtly told to stop sloughing and get with the program. The closer it comes to next week, the more e-mails we are getting. Of course, I have been busy doing my visits and documenting. I haven't boxed up anything. I have diplomas, certificates, etc. on my walls and my personal knickknacks around the office. I did bring a bag today to put some things in to take home. I left it at the office. Those of us who procrastinate had resigned ourselves to working on Saturday to get our offices packed and ready to go. At 3:30 this afternoon, we received an e-mail that the move has been postponed until February 19. The ones who have boxed up their casefiles will be unboxing at least some of them as we need the files during our day to day work. The rest of us do not have to work on Saturday. I was on my way to a home visit when the e-mail came. My co-worker, who has been procrastinating as much as I have, called to tell me about it. I laughed and told her that the ones who did what they were told were probably feeling pretty stupid now. So, we figure we have two more weeks to procrastinate. Life is good.

I'm ready

I'm ready to take some time off. I know, I know. I had several days off before Christmas. But considering that I took those days due to my aunt passing away, I don't feel like I've had a vacation. I worked 11 hours a day after Christmas to make up for the unexpected time off. Maybe it's the fact that I am planning a trip to Cancun in June with some friends. The date is set, the trip is paid for and I'm ready to go. I'm ready to get out of my rut of going to work, coming home, going to work. Time to get some excitement going. I think I will have some excitement soon. It's just too early to tell. But, if things go like I hope, the future looks bright.

Kids are funny

My 18 month old granddaughter, Dharma, is so cute. She has a thing for turning the TV in my bedroom on and off. She was doing this tonight and I told her, "no" several times to no avail. I spatted her hand and told her "no." This worked for about 10 minutes before she decided to do it again. My son came in the room and spatted her hand. She crossed her arms, walked to the door, opened the door, came back to my son, took his hands and led him out of the room. That girl definitely knows her own mind and is rapidly trying to gain control of the house.