Open spaces

As I was down Hwy 86 from Tulia to Childress this morning, it occurred to me that people who live in large cities really miss out. The wide open spaces of West Texas are beautiful. I had skipped breakfast, so as I was driving through Silverton, I decided to stop at Allsups. I didn't see anything that I wanted to eat, but I did get a Diet Dr. Pepper. Turning left onto the highway, I found it interesting that there wasn't a single car driving down the road. Silverton seems to be a quiet, little town, even though it is the county seat. The courthouse is right on the highway and it looked deserted. As I drove through Quitaque, I had to slow down for traffic (if three vehicles constitute traffic.) You know it is small town West Texas when the posted speed limit is 30, but all cars are topping out at 25. I haven't driven this highway before, so I was pleasantly surprised to find that halfway between Quitaque and Turkey there is a drive-in theater named, appropriately enough, Midway. It was almost 11:00 as I approached Turkey, so I thought I might find a Sonic or something along that order and get a snack. Well, imagine my surprise when all I find is an Allsups. I didn't think there would be anything in Allsups that I would want since I didn't see anything in the Allsups in Silverton that I wanted. I had no idea that the population of Turkey is less than 500. This is Bob Wills town after all. Where do all the tourists eat? I knew the next town on the map wouldn't have a fast food joint. Estelline has less than 200 people, so I resolved to have lunch in Childress. I'm not even close to the point of starvation, right? I really do enjoy driving the back roads. Small towns have character. I am not as fond of the drive at night, as I don't like to play chicken with the deer. One close encounter with a deer on the highway is one close encounter too many.

Forums

I wish I understood why some people feel that it is ok to post unfounded accusations about others on forums. I have recently been alerted to the fact that a poster on a forum that I don't go to and don't plan to go to because of personal reasons brought me up in a thread that had nothing to do with me. This poster, as a very good friend warned me, is nothing but a troll trying to cause trouble. He can leave me out of his trouble making ideas. On another forum that I am a regular poster, a poster that has been pretty much lambasted by many of the regulars has accused me of registering another ID and concocting an email about her. I don't know this woman, other than what I have read of her posts and her website, and I have no desire to get to know her. I don't have the time or the desire to waste my time making up anything about her. I have made some very good friends on the forums. I value these friendships. I have a demanding job that sometimes turns into long hours. Reading forums, posting and chatting with my friends is a way for me to relax after long days. For the trolls and crazy people that for some reason can't leave me out of their rantings...please get a life!

Life

Sorry I've neglected this blog lately. Life has gotten in the way. My aunt passed away unexpectedly, so that has really impacted my last week. Family has begun to arrive and that's kept me very busy. In addition, I've been busy with work, although I am taking some time off. I'll be slammed I sure after Christmas, trying to get everything done that has to be done this month. There have been some good things happen, also. With everything else going on, I am going to have seven kids adopted this month. Two have already been adopted. Two more will be on the 23rd. What a Christmas present. And three will be adopted on the 31st. In this aspect, December has certainly been a good month.

Too busy

A friend of mine succumbed to cancer. I haven't seen her in a month or so. I knew she was sick, but I just didn't seem to have time to call or visit and see how she was doing. There's always something going on. Now, I am feeling bad because she deserved more. I could have easily called her just to say Hi. I went to her viewing tonight and her husband, son and daughter in law all hugged me and seemed very happy to see me. I, of course, gave the usual platitudes of, "If you need anything at all..." But did I really mean it? I do mean it, but what happens next week when they don't call? I go on with my life. I think we all do this. We mean well. At least I do. But life intervenes. And that is sad. Linda, I miss you. I know you are in a better place. Your faith inspires me and I'm sorry that I wasn't there at the lowest points of your life. Thank you for being my friend.

Work out

I worked out today for the first time in a month. And, I am really feeling it. I know I need to go more often, but man, I'm beat. I'm hoping things slow down some at work, which will give me some time to go work out. Here's hoping.

Adoption

There is nothing that compares to an adoption. I got to participate in another one yesterday. We give the kids a bear to adopt when they are adopted. I asked the 4 year old girl what size she wanted and she said a medium pink bear. I brought three bears to court so she could choose just the right one. She picked her bear without hesitation. The attorney brought her a pink puppy. The little girl was so happy. I don't know how many times she hugged everyone. She told me her new name several times also. A co-worker went to the adoption with me. He told me that I have the fun job. He's right.

Thanksgiving

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. I have time off work and am determined to try to take that time, although I do need to get some narratives in by Friday. This is a time that people stop and reflect and give thanks. So, I am going to briefly say a few things that I give thanks for. First of all, my two boys. They have grown up and become friends even if we do have disagreements occasionally. I'm thankful for my now extended family which includes my DIL and two granddaughters. Of course, my dad. And the many friends that I have made over the years. There are so many other things that I am thankful for, but I don't have time to write a book. To all my friends and family, Happy Thanksgiving.

Monday

Why is it that when one thing goes wrong, it seems like everything goes wrong? I had a good day at work. But, man, since I've been home, things haven't been that great. I have a shattered glass pot lid and a chair seat that has to be cleaned. My son was so sweet. He said, "I'm sorry you're having such a bad night." But, the chicken and dumplings I made came out perfectly. So all is not bad. Actually, maybe it's just time to go to bed before anything else can happen. Tomorrow will be another day.

November

November mean Thanksgiving, getting ready for Christmas, colder weather, adoptions. Ok, most of you don't know what adoptions have to do with November, but they do. November 15th is National Adoption Day. On November 14th, the 15th is a Saturday, Lubbock will have several adoptions. It's a special time, with gifts for the families, speeches, punch and cookies. Some counties actually hold their National Adoption Day on Saturday, but we always have ours on Friday. Last year I was fortunate enough to attend in Lubbock on Friday and in El Paso on Saturday. I had 11 children that I work with adopted those two days. This year I have 5 children that I work with being adopted. I know, slacking a little there, but I had two adoptions in October and have five more coming up pretty quickly. There's a lot of work that goes into this, but it is one of the best days of the year and definitely worth the work.

Going home

My time off is almost over. I will be flying home later tonight and back to work tomorrow. I wish I could take more time, but the job doesn't get done when I am not there. It will be hectic for a few days as I play catchup. Oh, well. That's the way of the working world.

Cross country travel

I have added Atlanta to my list of cities that have traffic jams in the middle of the night for no apparent reason. Ok, up to this point, only Cincinnati was on the list. Chicago is on my list for traffic jams on a Sunday afternoon for no apparent reason. Back to the topic, my son and I were driving through Atlanta on I20 last night and making good time until we came upon the jam. Three lanes of traffic not moving. In fact, we sat in one spot so long that I turned the engine off. We finally made it through the jam, traffic picked up and about a mile down the road, whammy...another jam. At least this one had a reason. Three lanes of traffic merged into one for construction. This jam didn't last long, we got through and drove through the night. We did run into a small jam outside of Weatherford for construction early this afternoon, but that one barely rates a mention. We didn't even have to stop completely. I enjoy driving across the country, but next time, I think I would like to do most of the driving during the day so I can enjoy the sites. We did stop in Odessa for the night. We do have to watch the Tech/Texas game. We should be in El Paso early tomorrow afternoon. There is no rush now and I'll be flying home on Thursday. It's been a fun and interesting week.

I hate airplane lavatories

I love to fly, but I hate the lavatories in airplanes. I always make sure I visit the restroom in the airport before I get on a plane. Those are generally very nice. The problem I faced yesterday though, is that I was on the same plane from 9:55 AM until 3:30 PM. There is no way I can make it that long without visiting the cramped lavatory at the back of the plane. At least I only needed to go once. I kept my Diet Sprite drinks to a minimum and doesn't eating peanuts soak up the liquid anyway?

Leaving in two days

I'll be leaving for North Carolina in two days. I'm excited about being gone, even though I've had to work extra to make sure I'm caught up. It looks like I'll have a couple of days to relax before we head back to Texas in a U-haul. I'm taking my laptop so I can stay in touch with my friend, but I hope I can check out Fayetteville some, also. When I helped the boy move, he didn't want to do the touristy things. I'll be there on Halloween, but since he lives in an apartment complex, I don't think there will be many trick or treaters. I might have to trick the boy. That would be fun. Oops, I'm not supposed to let the evil me out in public.

Where does time go?

It is almost the end of October. Thanksgiving is in a month and Christmas is in two. I don't feel like it has been a year since the last holidays. Maybe it's because I work so much. I won't be working most of next week, though. I'm off to North Carolina to help my youngest child pack and move back to El Paso. Isn't it funny how he still needs momma to help him move. Some of my friends have commented on that, but I wouldn't have it any other way. I remember a time when he didn't want momma to know anything about his life. Now he likes having me around. Grown kids are pretty cool.

Music, fun and friends

Last night my daughter in law had her 29th birthday party at my house. It was at my house because my son, daughter in law and their two daughters have moved in with me. Do they ever leave home? Just kidding, as I am happy to help them out and have them live with me even if I have lost some of my privacy. But that's another story.
We had probably about 30 or so friends over last night for the party. At least five of them brought their guitars and we had a couple of drums, so it was jam in the back yard night. I do hope my neighbors didn't mind. I didn't get any complaints, anyway. What I found so very interesting though, is that there was such a good mix of people and everyone had a great time. We had the musician, hippy set of friends, the amptgard, geek set of friends and friends that I have known for over 28 years that are almost family. Other than the fact that I am so tired today, I wish we could do this more often. The only thing missing last night were my online friends. Unfortunately, most of them live too far to come and I missed chat. But, we do have our get togethers, also.

Sista's blog

My dear friend, sisser, has joined the blogging world. Check her out at http://sisserponderin.blogspot.com/

I know she'll have some really interesting blogs because she is such a cool person. And she lives up in the hinterlands of Canada. There are lots of interesting people that she has to deal with every day. Too bad they don't understand the native Texan in her.

Welcome to the blogger world, sista. I will enjoy reading your ponderings.

I'm learning

Several of my foster homes and relative placements have my cell phone number. As do some CASA workers. That is usually not a bad thing, but sometimes I wonder if they think I work 24/7. Tonight I got a call from a foster parent telling me that he has had it with a child in his home. He wanted me to take the child out of his home tonight. There was no emergency, just frustration. I don't mind talking to him and the child, but I do need my time off also. I, very nicely I hope, told both of them that if they can't work things out for one night, they can call the statewide intake number and an on call worker will handle it. I also let them know that if they do call, to be prepared for a long night. I do work after hours a lot, but after an afternoon of sitting in court and not getting home until after 6:00, I'm not working all night because two people are not getting along. Anyway...enough venting. I really do love my job and the kids. I have fantastic placements and normally will go the extra mile for them. I'm really hoping they will think it is too much trouble to call in tonight and by tomorrow things will look different. We will see.

Music and friends

My DIL and I went to a music jam tonight and enjoyed some great music and good friends. It's been awhile since I've done something like this. Having friends who are musicians does open doors. Singing and listening to them play is a great way to spend a night. I hated to have to leave, but tomorrow is a work day. Although one friend told me to just drink coffee, coffee, coffee. Maybe I'll go back out next week.

Live Feed

I decided to add a live feed to my blog just to see if anyone other than the three people I know read my blog came on once and a while. To my surprise, there does seem to be a few others who read it. This tells me that maybe I need to blog a little more often. I wish I could be as dedicated to blogging as some of my friends are. I feel that I don't have time when I finally get home from work, which probably is not a good excuse. After all, I have time to chat on the Hideaway and to read the forums I frequent. So why not spend a few minutes blogging? I don't have an excuse. I spend time writing narratives at work and don't feel like writing when I get home. That's the best I can do to explain why I don't write more. Well, that and the fact that I don't always have anything that I feel is important enough to write about. I could probably fill the blog with things that happen at work, but I have to be careful about that. I can't violate confidentiality, so I have limited myself there. I could write more about my family, but then that could become a little Peyton Place if I'm not careful. I won't write about politics unless I really feel the need. Right now, I'd like to see a little less politics. I'll ponder (to use one of my best friend's phrases) and see what I can come up with.

Lauren's post

I'm sitting at the computer with Lauren thinking that I need to blog, but I don't really have anything to blog about. So, Lauren said I could write about my family. I asked Lauren what I should write and she said, "You know. How nice they are." Do you think she's asking for a compliment? She'll get one. I am very blessed to have the two granddaughters that I have. They are cute, smart and entertaining. There are definitely a lot of laughs in this house. Dharma found a musical card that a friend gave me and we are jamming out to Freeze Frame. She's at the cute dance stage and loves to follow Lauren around and copy her dancing. So, guess I need to get off here and start dancing with the girls.

This N That

It's amazing how just when I'm feeling down, someone will do something nice for me. I think I have some of the best friends (and they do know who they are.) Not only do they know when I need a pick me up, they don't mind when I get a little snippy. Not that I am snippy, but we all have our days. I just hope that I return the favor when needed.

I think I need a vacation. I know I went to Florida, but that wasn't a vacation, even though I did enjoy the trip. I'm ready to get away from work for a few days and just relax. I'd even like to come up to Canada for chunky dunking in the winter, sista.

Rainy day finds

I woke up this morning at 5:30 to rain pouring down. In fact, the rain woke me up...I don't get up that early. It has rained all day. The streets are flooded and I think I have a lake in my yard. I worked until 7:15 tonight and on the way home decided to stop at Lowe's to get some advice on whether I should put sealant on my new wood laminate floor. I shouldn't. Anyway, there were rugs on clearance. I saw a beautiful rug that would look so good on the living room floor, but it had no price tag. So, after checking it out and deciding how much I would be willing to pay, I asked the worker how much it was. He checked and told me $34.00. Talk about the buy of the century! I didn't even hesitate to tell him I wanted it. Now, I need to take a picture of it so my far away (Canada and New Mexico) friends can see it. The rest of you need to come visit me and see it for yourselves. Shopping in the rain is fun.

Happiness

Happiness is...seeing Dharma, the cutest little girl I know;
having Lauren, the next cutest girl I know, tell me she wants to live with me;
watching a judge grant an adoption;
knowing that I have helped a child find happiness;
being with friends.

Politics

Ahhh, politics. Don't you love it? Things are heating up and I find the debate very interesting. For the record, I am pretty conservative and wouldn't vote for Obama if you paid me to. I had already pretty well decided that I would vote for McCain even though there are many things I don't like about him. Now that he has chosen a virtual unknown for his running mate, things are getting very interesting. I will sit back and watch the fireworks from both sides. No matter who wins, this will be an election to remember.

A little of this and that

I went to Florida for work last week and had a wonderful time. Oops, that doesn't sound like work, does it? Well, I was paid for going and still had a wonderful time. I'll blog about the trip later. It wasn't so wonderful when I got home Monday. I walked into the hall bath and found water on the floor. I thought the toilet was leaking and called the plumber. The good news is my toilet is fine. The bad news is I had a slab leak. The plumber asked me what was behind the wall in the bathroom. I told him a bedroom closet. We went to check out the closet and the carpet in that bedroom was soaking wet. The plumber cut out part of my wall and discovered that the leak was not in the wall. He turned off my water and told me he would be out to fix it the next day. I ended up spending the night with friends. The leak is fixed. It was actually at floor level. My insurance company may not pay anything because they only pay if the leak is above the floor. So, after $1,070, my leak is fixed. At least the electric company will adjust my bill. I don't know how much yet, but every little bit helps.

Just some thoughts

I've been busy, but I thought I'd share some thoughts today. Friday was an interesting day. I had an adoption at 8:30 Friday morning. It was a cool adoption. This child makes the 8th child (4 biological and 4 adopted) at 8/08/08 at 8:30 AM. That was cool. Everyone was so happy. I love this part of my job. The part that isn't so cool is that after the adoption I met with two investigators that had asked me to go to a funeral with them. The funeral was for an infant that was found dead by police in the family's backyard after the mother went to the ER and said that she had a baby that was dead. This has been a big news story here. The autopsy revealed that the baby had been born alive. When we got to the graveside services, the only people present were us, four police officers and the funeral home director. About 10 minutes after the funeral was supposed to start, the grandmother arrived with her sister, a daughter and three children. She said the mother of the baby was on her way. She showed up about 15 minutes later with several other people. The service was held and then a few more family members showed up. By the time they left, there were 22 family members present, of which at least 6 were children. This is a difficult part of my job.
Friday afternoon, one of the workers told me he heard I had not applied for the supervisor position that is open for his unit. He had wanted me to apply. I explained to him the reasons why I decided not to apply, and while he understands that this is not position for me, he was upset that I hadn't applied. I have to look at what's best for me and this position is not best for me. There are more coming up in the next few months that I will apply for.
Saturday, I attended a wedding and got to spend the afternoon with my granddaughter as both mom and dad were in the wedding. We had so much fun and the photographer fell in love with Dharma. I'm looking forward to seeing all the photos he took of her. The bride asked me to make chicken enchiladas for the meal. I have never cooked for a large crowd before, but the enchiladas were a hit. There were no leftovers. So, no matter what anyone tells you to the contrary, I can cook...I just don't do it very often.
So, I've had a busy couple of days and they're not over yet. I will go to a friend's house later this afternoon for a birthday party/bbq. Those are always fun. Next week, I go to Florida with two girls for a pre-placement visit with the family that will adopt them. That means I get three days on the beach while the family gets to know the girls. That's a pretty cool part of my job! I'll let ya'll know how that goes later. ☺

Birthdays

My friend is having a birthday today. Not just any birthday, but the half century one. (Ok, I have older friends.) :) I just wanted to say happy birthday, Ron. You are a wonderful guy and I am so happy to have you for my friend. I hope you have a great day and many, many more great days. See you soon.

Tattoo

I have been talking to my son for awhile about getting a tattoo. I just didn't know what I wanted to get or where to put it. Well...I finally bit the bullet and did it. I think it looks great. Everyone who has seen it says it looks great. Of course, I went to the tattoo artist that my son uses. He is one of the best in town. Here's a link to the pic of it...It's on my left shoulder going down my back.

http://i118.photobucket.com/albums/o93/rienaphoto/Nikon023-1.jpg

Dharma

I have had a fantastic weekend. Dharma stayed with me all weekend while her parents were out of town. We had a wonderful time. For those who don't know, Dharma is my 13 month old grand-daughter. She has such a wonderful personality. I did have to baby proof my kitchen as Dharma is now walking and gets into everything she can reach. We went shopping for a birthday present and baby shower gifts. Needless to say, Dharma came out of the shopping spree pretty well off, also. I took her several places this weekend. She wasn't fussy and enjoyed meeting many new people. The greatest part of all this though, was when she would hold her arms out to me. We shared many Dharma hugs and kisses. Her parents came to pick her up about 6:00 tonight. While I am enjoying my alone time, I must say that I enjoyed my weekend with Dharma. I'm looking forward to many more.

Airport ramblings

My friends know I travel a lot for work. I was sitting in the Victoria airport thinking why did I bother to show up almost an hour before my flight? There are two flights out of Victoria and two flights into Victoria daily. Only Continental flies there. My flight left at 6:20 in the morning. Had I missed it, I would have had to wait until 4:10 in the afternoon to get out. Twelve passengers were on the plane. My ticket was for seat 4B. The airline hostess asked us to sit in rows 7 and back for weight distribution. Needless to say, flights like this are very interesting. Before this experience, the smallest airport I had flown to was in Tyler. Tyler at least has a choice of airlines. You can fly Continental or American. I found the Tyler airport interesting because the ticket agent was also took the boarding pass when it was time to board the plane and went out to the runway to guide the plane with the flags. I do like multitasking.
Maybe I'll write about the larger airports and the fun I've had running down the halls in order to make my flights some day.

Time to get serious

I weigh more now than I ever have in my life, even when I was pregnant. I know several things that are to blame...lack of exercise, I like to eat, stressful job, but it's time to get serious. A friend has been going to Curves and has lost 40 pounds. She gave me a card to do a free workout and see what I think of it. I went this morning and I joined. I am motivated to get fit and feel better. Now, I have to stay motivated to get over there. I'm going to try to start eating better, also. That's hard with my job, but I can make better choices. Goodbye foot-long coney meal at Sonic. Now, let's see how well I'm doing in a month.

Differences

There are differences between men and women. We all know that. Being a woman, I can't really explain the way men think and feel. But I do know how women think and feel. Well, at least I know how I think and feel. I was reminded of an episode of Everybody Loves Raymond tonight. I know, corny show. But, in one episode, Raymond comes home to find Deborah sitting on the couch crying. For no reason. She's just crying. That's how I felt tonight. I had no reason to cry. I had to go to Hale Center for work, but that wasn't stressful, only time consuming when I didn't want to be working. I don't think men cry for no reason, but I could be wrong.
Some women are needy. They are always in crisis mode and always have others fawning over them and helping them. I don't think I am one of those women. In fact, I've been told that I'm strong and don't need anyone. I hope that's not entirely true. I think we all need someone sometimes. I am strong in the sense that I don't want to be perceived as the helpless, woe is me, type of woman. I refuse to be that person.
I guess my point is that even self-sufficient women have feelings. Unfortunately, most people don't want to believe that. To me, it's easier to look strong and hide any needs so that the ones who always look for sympathy can have it.

Busy, busy

Wow, Summer is here, but I don't feel like I have slowed down for a minute. Today is the first day I've gotten home before midnight in the last several days. Work isn't slowing down and I've had some good times with some good friends. So, I guess I'm not complaining, but I do need to take some me time just to rest and relax. I thought I might mow today, but after picking up tree limbs, the heat of the day was bringing me down. Also, my son called to ask me to come over to see my granddaughter before she heads to Michigan for the Summer. That turned into an all day affair as the three of us did some running around town spending my money. Oh, what fun. But that is a different story for a different day. Have fun in Michigan, sweetie. Your BFF (me) will be thinking of you often.

Adoption

I had an adoption yesterday. The girl was being adopted by her uncle and aunt. They were all so happy. One of the things we do for the kids when they are adopted is let them choose a teddy bear. She chose the biggest one we had after spending several minutes contemplating which one she wanted. When we left the courthouse, she asked me if I could keep coming to visit. I told her that I could stop by and say hi, but that I no longer had to come every month to check on how everything was going. She said she wanted me to come by sometime. Then she hugged me, not once, but three times. This is one of the reasons why I love my job. I have two more adoptions next week. Life is good.

Another Saturday

Here it is, the Saturday before Memorial Day and I can't leave town even if I wanted to. Why? Because I am on call, which means I have to have my cell phone with me at all times and be available in case there is an emergency, ie. a run away is found and needs placement or a placement is falling apart. But, I also am going in to work to monitor a visit for two hours today. The judge has ordered that this family have visits for two hours daily so that the mother can nurse her baby. I think that's great for bonding. Anyway, that's how my work is going today. I also am going to check on my friend's cats as she went to Corpus this weekend for a wedding. I thought about doing some yard work, but since I need to look (and smell) decent when I go in for my couple of hours, I decided against it. The yard will be there tomorrow, you say. Yes, it will, but I'm sure I can come up with another excuse not to do any work. I am a good procrastinator.

April's going

Here it is April 30th and I've neglected my blog all month. I have been very busy working. A 71 hour week and a 77 hour week make it hard to blog. Not to mention the time I couldn't get to my computer because I was in San Angelo. Anyway, I didn't want to get through April without at least one blog, so I guess I will post some random thoughts about my month.
April was an extremely busy month. With the removal of over 400 children in El Dorado, I ended up going to San Angelo to help out twice. I also had three adoptions consummated. I should feel like I accomplished alot, but right now I just feel relieved that April is over. May is looking good.
One of my young friends has started his own blog. So everyone should check out Chris's blog. I have it linked here as one of my favorites. Some of my very good friends celebrated birthdays this month. Happy birthday, my friends!
Sista went back to Canada. While I miss having her here, I know she was glad to get back to the mister and the kids. TORONTO SUCKS!!! GRITS RULE!!! That was for the mister.
Now, bring on May!

Celebration

This winter seems to have taken a toll on people. I know more than one person who has unexepectedly passed away at relatively young ages. Last week a man that I don't know really well, but was a good friend to some friends of mine passed away. Tonight a music jam was held to honor his life. His best friend said that it's okay to shed some tears, but we were there to celebrate his life the way he would have wanted...with music and friends. It was awesome to see people come together and remember him through words and songs. And it's cool to see the impact one person could have on so many people.
Rest in peace, Keith. And keep on jamming.

Neglect

I have neglected my blog lately. I have some ideas to write about, but I've been busy. I will try to find time to write next week. I am excited because the book I ordered at a conference I went to last month arrived today. It's called "The Myth Of The Out Of Character Crime." So I may have some good crime type stuff to blog about.
I've had 5 kids adopted since the last week of February. That's been keeping me busy along with trying to find homes for some others. So at least I've had a good busy.

It's nice to be appreciated

As we go about our daily lives, at work, at home, with friends in person and online, I have noticed that it is nice to be appreciated. We should all have that intrinsic self-esteem, but at times, external praise goes a long way. I've noticed myself becoming grumpy when other people receive praise for doing things that I feel are part of everyday life when I don't receive praise. And then I berate myself for feeling that way. It can be a vicious cycle, but it's one that I am working on.
Anyway, I received special recognition from an agency we work with Friday. The Children's Home of Lubbock started something new this month. It is called cookies for caring. Every month they will choose caseworkers and/or supervisors who they feel have gone above and beyond their job duties to help the life of a child and/or how they've worked well with that agency. They bring cookies to the workers selected along with a note on why they were selected. They chose three people for the first month and I was one of them. It was such an honor to be selected. The note I received said that I have been excellent and going above and beyond in finding forever families for the kids that are so special to us. To know that people notice this and appreciate it made my day.

Busy

I feel like I have been neglecting my blog. I am so busy at work and stressed with work that when I do have down time, I can't think of anything I want to blog about. My supervisor keeps telling me that things are going to get better. Of course, she usually tells me this right before assigning me another case or otherwise needing me to do something. I was feeling so stressed earlier this month, that I felt like I was about to have a melt down. But I have some wonderful friends who helped me through it. You know who you are, guys. Now, nothing has lessened at work, but I've decided that I do what I can and the rest will still be there tomorrow. I've got to take care of myself also.

Being Flexible

I am a flexible person and that really comes in handy in my work. There are five workers in my unit, although a sixth is being added and interviews are being held next week. Yaaayyyy. Out of the five we have, one is on three month family medical leave for adopting a baby. Because of the specialized work we do, the other four of us are absorbing her caseload instead of parcelling it out to other workers in the building. Another worker was off all this week because her father passed away. It seems like every crisis possible hit this week while we were short handed. I was asked to fly to Dallas to pick up a child that had to be out of his placement on Friday. We had no placement for him when I flew out at 1:50 Friday afternoon. The plan was to meet him at DFW(a staff member from his placement in Fort Worth was bringing him to the airport) and bring him back to Lubbock. We should have been home by 6:00. I get to DFW and they aren't there. Come to find out, because DFW is so big, we were at different gates. My supervisor called and said we had found a placement in Fort Worth, very near to where he had been placed. When I finally found the child, rented a car and transported him to his new placement, it was too late to get a flight back to Lubbock. The last flight was booked. I found a hotel that only charged me four dollars over the state rate. There was a jacuzzi tub in the bathroom (heaven) and a business center. Unfortunately the business center was closed, so I couldn't access the Internet. Man, I've got to get a laptop. My good friend, Ron, told me to pack my toothbrush as I've been stranded in Tyler overnight before. But, me being me, I didn't listen. Thank goodness, the hotel gave me a toothbrush, toothpaste and deoderant. All turned out well and after only an hour delay coming back, I did make it home by noon Saturday. I love my job.

Mixed feelings

As most of you know, I have a son stationed in Korea. We were talking via instant messaging last night about his future. He told me that he wants to be deployed to Iraq. As a mother, I don't want him in Iraq, but he has some very valid reasons for wanting to go. He is a LT in the Army. He has a chance to make the military his career and said that he wants to see what the Army is like in war before he makes a long term decision. He also has had classmates and good friends killed in Iraq. He feels that he should serve a turn there just as others have. The third reason he gives is that with a war going on, he needs to have a combat patch to really advance a career in the military. He could get a combat patch by being deployed to Kuwait/Qatr, but he feels that is the easy way out. He told me that he knew what he was getting into when he signed his contract. He knows that Iraq is very dangerous and that he could be killed. He said he doesn't want to die, but he's willing to take that risk to serve the country. Right now, he won't be deployed to Iraq because of the field he's in. He's probably going to be going to Ft. Bragg in May. Knowing my son, he will find a way to be deployed. I am proud of him and I support his decisions. I don't know many 24 year olds who compare to my child. But, I also worry.

Friends

The greatest wealth in the world is to have friends. I don't mean people who say, "Oh yeah. You're my friend. See ya sometime." I mean friends that call you because they can see that you are in a crappy mood and want to make sure that you are allright. Or friends that call you at 3:00 AM because they are in pain and want someone to take them to the ER. That has happened to me and I'm still planning on an appropriate way to get back at him. Which is okay, because friends are allowed to reciprocate. Friends can yell at each other and be back to normal in hours because friends know more about each other than family ever will.
I treasure the few people that I can really call a friend because those few people know things about me that could get me in big trouble but, because they are my friends, will never use the information against me. Of course, this works inversely as well.

CPS

I have recently become aware that there are some misconceptions about CPS (Children's Protective Services) and I would like to hopefully clear two of these misconceptions up. The first is that some people seem to believe that CPS issues arrest warrants. CPS operates under the Texas Family Code. I am giving the link to the statues pertaining to CPS investigations for interested persons. http://tlo2.tlc.state.tx.us/statutes/docs/FA/content/htm/fa.005.00.000261.00.htm
The Texas Family Code is a civil code. Therefore, CPS does not have the authority to make arrests or issue warrants. Local law enforcement do receive reports of abuse/neglect that are reported to CPS. Sometimes local law enforcement will investigate these reports for criminal liability and sometimes they do not. CPS, by law, investigates reports pursuant to the Family Code. To allege that CPS had someone arrested is totally lacking in factual basis.
The second point I would like to discuss is a statement made recently that CPS needs to be shut down. I could not believe that someone actually said that, but I guess there are people out there that do not see the need to protect our most vulnerable citizens. I have worked with children who witnessed their little brother being thrown across the room and killed. I have worked with children who were sexually abused and had to testify in court about the abuse. I have worked with children who showed the police where the meth was being manufactured in their home and told about having been accidentally stuck with a needle. I could go on, but the horror stories never end. Most parents are good parents and never have any dealings with CPS. Some parents are good parents and have had reports called in. If a false allegation is made, cooperate with the investigator and the facts will come out. The majority of CPS investigations are closed with no further action. CPS investigators aren't out to get your kids. When I did investigations, I perferred to investigate the ones that I could close with no further action. I knew those kids were safe. I know it can be a hassle to deal with a worker coming out to your home, but isn't it worth the hassle to know that CPS will investigate and protect the ones who are being abused/neglected? How many child deaths have been prevented because CPS removed children from an abusive parent before the parent lost their temper one last time? How many children have been protected from accidental needle pokes in their parent's meth lab?
I know that there are cases in which a worker abused their position. That happens in every profession. Those workers are hopefully weeded out. But, by and large, CPS workers perform an important job to the best of their ability. And we have many children who are safe today because of that.

Procrastination

I am the queen of procrastination. Part of my work entails that I see every one of the children on my case load in their placement at least once a month or call the ones that are not in this region. I saw the ten kids that are placed in the Amarillo area before the first week of January was over. I thought I was doing good. Why then, three days before the end of the month did I have eleven kids that I hadn't seen yet and four that I hadn't called. Needless to say, I am making up for lost time. I worked until after 7:00 tonight visiting children and I will get the rest seen the next two days. I hate having to rush at the end of the month. I would say that next month will be better, but I have two less days to see them all.

A Fun Trip

I had to go to Childress this afternoon for work. So I thought I would write a blog for my friends, Sisser and Brandy. They are living in snow country and would like to see some warm weather.

Sista, Brandy...don't you two snowbunnies be mad, but I had to turn on the A/C on my way to Childress today. It was that warm. But before you start envying me, let me tell you about the fun game I got to play on the way. First, I played "dodge the tumbleweed blowing across the road." Then, I played "dang, I hope there's not a car in front of me since all I can see is dirt." I played that little game right around Matador. Thank goodness it didn't last long. And the last game I played on my trip was "can I keep the car from blowing off the road so Enterprise won't be mad at me?" Needless to say, I was having a great time.In Childress, once I had finished the business I was there for, I had a wonderful meal with Iggy. That was great fun and I look forward to more. It was getting dark by the time I left Childress, so the wind had died down. That is good, because it gave me more of a chance to focus on the deer that live out in the scrub brush. It is amazing how those sweet little deer like to congregate on the side of the road and then time the speed of your car so that they can romp across the road right as you are getting close to them. I only almost hit one of them. Took a while for my heart to quit racing after that one. I guess that was my aerobic workout for the day. I'm almost ashamed to admit that I had a blonde moment in Matador. Did you know that there are two highway 70s in Matador. There is US 70, which I need to take to Floydada. And there is State 70, which I actually got on and headed north, thinking, "I shouldn't be going north. I should be going west." Thankfully, I was able to shake off the blonde moment before I ended up in Minnesota or somewhere. Had to turn around and get back on the right highway. So, how was your day?

Chat

I enjoy chatting with wonderful friends I have made on one of the boards. We have a chat room that has really been hopping lately with ten or more members in the last couple of nights. Unfortunately, with that many in the room and all of us talking and visiting I don't always get a chance to read everything everyone says or to respond to everything. It can get a bit confusing also. Once in a while a new chatter will come in and have a difficult time keeping up due to the speed of the chatting and the quick change of topics. I was discussing this tonight with one of my friends in the chat room. Her motto is, Just jump right in. Brandy, you are absolutely right. It's hard for new folks to get started. I went through that when I first started chatting. But, it is worth it to get your feet wet. All new chatters are welcome. I hope we regulars don't seem rude or unapproachable. I think we get caught up in our individual chats sometimes and forget that new chatters are in the room. I am going to work on being more cognizant of that. Of course, being me, I will probably have to be reminded time and again of this goal.

I wonder

I've been pondering (to borrow a phrase from my good friend, sisser) about how people can say mean and hateful things about other people and then turn it around to look like they are the victim. I've had my fair share of arguments and yes, people who don't like me, but none of this has overtaken my life. I have friends who are accused of many things that they are innocent of on forums and then the accuser twists their own words to make it look like my friends started the accusations. I think that some people must not have fullfilling lives. I would feel sorry for them if it wasn't so scary.

Difficult decisions

I am sitting here holding my seven month old grandbaby thinking about the call I just received from a hospital concerning a little boy on my caseload. You see, this little boy has so many health and developmental problems that we asked the judge to grant us the authority to get a DNR (do not resucitate) order. The hospital was calling to check on the order.
The reason that this is a difficult decision is that this little boy will never have any kind of quality of life. He is currently existing. He is the sweetest, cutest little boy you could imagine ever seeing. A team of doctors here and in Fort Worth have been trying to 1) find out why he has these medical problems and 2) trying to figure out how to if not heal him, at least get him to a state of being able to progress somewhat. All of this has been to no avail and he continues to worsen. I don't talk about him to others alot because until you've been through this you just don't understand. His foster mother has been talking to me about what we are going to do when he passes (funeral, who is considered family, etc.) His parental rights have been terminated, but it is doubtful we will ever find an adoptive family. He has siblings and I will be telling them that he will never get any better. That too will be extremely hard because these kids have come to mean so much to me. I've known them for almost four years now and have developed a close bond with them. Right now, I think he needs prayers, so if anyone is reading this, please send your prayers.

I'm blogging now

I decided to create a blog because some of my friends don't accept comments from non bloggers. I don't know how often I will blog because I am very busy and I was never a diary type person, but I'm going to give it a try.